Get Right

20 Jul

Gaining Confidence

2013-07-20 21.02.09


How to focus on your strengths when all you see are your flaws.

Our Own Worst Critic

Working at a salon for a number of years qualified me as a psychologist. Ok, not really, but it should! People will tell their hairdresser things they wouldn’t even confess to a priest. One thing that became a pattern, was how insecure people tended to be about their hair. You could tell a lot about someone’s self esteem by how they asked you to do their hair…

“Can you cut it to hide my double chin?”

“I need bangs to cover my big forehead”

“I can’t have short hair, it will make me look fat…”

“Can you move my back hair to my hairline?” {no lie, that was said…}

I’ve literally heard it all. When they’d debase themselves in this way, I always pointed out something good about them. It was clear they needed some positivity spoken into their lives. I wasn’t handing out white lies either. I sincerely think everyone has something beautiful about them. God makes everyone so unique. I love looking for the beauty in every person. Of course beauty isn’t skin deep. Not at all. And a beautiful face will turn hideous with an ugly attitude. But my point is this- we get so fixated on the things we don’t like, that we forget to appreciate the good things about us too.

A surefire way to give yourself bad self-esteem is to focus on your “flaws”. I call this “The Pizza Affect”.

The Pizza Affect

Think of it this way- if you eat pizza everyday, you’d probably get pretty sick of it very quickly {or any other food}. But if you save Pizza for special occasions, or a “free day” on your diet, you’d look forward to eating it and think it’s the best thing ever!

Well, think of yourself as that pizza. You see yourself everyday, so you don’t notice the special things about you. You look in the mirror every day and see the same eyes looking back at you. But those same eyes might just make someone else weak in the knees. You’re smile, which may seem ordinary to you, may make someone else’s day. You are just too use to yourself to appreciate yourself.

Do You Suffer from Pizza Affect?

Steps to Restore Your Confidence:

I won’t lie, I’ve struggled with insecurities just about my whole life. However, I am not the type of person to sit and dwell. I have to DO SOMETHING.

first and foremost, the best thing that helps me is prayer, and knowing that God has made me for a purpose, and that He doesn’t make junk. I have been blessed with this life, and I want to do as much with it as possible.

Next, get moving. I feel the most alive and the happiest when I’m working out. You need to find a positive activity that pushes you out of your comfort zone and challenges you.

Lastly, build community with others. Humans were meant to live in community with one another. We need each other for support. It’s actually more prideful to not ask for help, than it is to recognize when you need it.

What Moves Me?

Church – I love my church family, and it’s so awesome to be able to connect with others who have the same belief system and morals and to learn from one another. Also, church provides me with the opportunity to serve others. I work with Middle school girls at my church and I love seeing them grow stronger in their confidence and in Christ. Middle School is such an awesome time to positively influence young girls to have confidence in themselves, and I love serving in this way.

CrossFit – Have you done CrossFit yet? Let me rephrase, Have you gone to CrossFit Lake Effect Yet? I love my gym. It’s like a family, I never want to leave when I’m there. Which is surprising because the workouts practically kill you. But my whole perspective of fitness has changed since going to CrossFit Lake Effect. It’s changed how I see myself too. I no longer fixate on being “skinny” or about how many calories I’m burning…primarily because I know it’s a lot. But my focus has shifted from working out to be “skinny” to working out to learn proper form and skill.

My goals have changed from “Fit into skinny jeans”, to “Be able to squat my body weight {using a bar…not just my own body weight}, Do pull ups, push ups, double unders, and a box jump where I don’t land like an elephant…” The by product of learning these things are a lean and muscular physique – By practicing and getting better at your skill, you end up burning a lot of calories, and sculpting your body. I have been happier with my body in the past month of doing CrossFit, than I have in the past 10+ years of running.

This way of thinking is a HUGE shift for me. Before I was tormented by insecurities and a slave to the treadmill. I ran to be skinny, but now I want to be a better athlete..{ok, I just want to be considered an athlete}. Better body image just comes with the territory when you do CrossFit. Every week I notice that I’m getting stronger and leaner. And it is so mentally liberating to not force myself into what I want to be…instead, I focus on my improvements. I have a L.O.N.G. way to go, but I am so happy to have found my CrossFit Family ❤ They are the greatest group of people, they are encouraging, funny, and overall just wonderful!

Your Turn:

What do you do when you start to feel insecure?

How often do you step outside of your comfort zone? 



One Response to “Get Right”

  1. michaelawanders July 22, 2013 at 9:54 am #

    Honestly, although there are so many things about the machismo/cat call culture that I DO NOT appreciate, all the male attention you receive in Latin America can help you step out of the way you see yourself a little bit and realize that others see you very differently. When I start to feel insecure . . . it depends. Sometimes I deal with it in unhealthy ways, but the healthier ways are journaling, calling someone who loves me, or putting on a favorite outfit and power shoes. I tend to step outside of my comfort box all the time–this summer in Ecuador has been a great experience in that because nearly every day I have to do something new I have never done before or might have been intimidated by a few months ago.

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